I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
