I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
