What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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