I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
