More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
