Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
