apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
