Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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