I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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