No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
