where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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