why didn't you poke me back
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
