Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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