I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
