a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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