Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
