is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
