The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
