i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
