so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
