i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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