You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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