6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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