And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
