My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
