I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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