put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
