oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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