i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
