I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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