Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
