I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
