Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
