I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
