we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
