He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
