Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
