If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
