i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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