i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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