I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
