Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
