3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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