He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
