We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
