Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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