I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
