He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
