What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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