another moral hangover. fuck.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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